i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
