I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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