Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
