just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
