Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
