Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
