Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
