Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
