About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
