Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
