omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
