your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
