It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
