return my video game
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
