Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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