his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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