Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
