So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
