And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
