I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
