When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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