I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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