guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Congratulations! We have a period
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
