He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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