I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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