You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
