I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
