He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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