We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
you never un-have a 4some
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
