quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
