A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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