ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I look better un-naked...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
