i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Rumble strips road head = magical
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
