i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
