My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
