i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
