At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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