If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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