Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
