I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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