so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
