theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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