seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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