I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
