As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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