Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
