I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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