what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
