9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
