I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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