I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
